How The Grinch Killed Christmas
Every Who down in Whoville liked Christmas a lot. But the Grinch, who lived just North of Whoville, did not! The Grinch hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season! Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason. It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight. It could be his head wasn't screwed on just right. But I think that the most likely reason of all, May have been that his heart was two sizes too small. But, whatever the reason, his heart or his shoes, He stood there on Christmas Eve, hating the Whos, Staring down from his cave with a sour, Grinchy frown, At the warm lighted windows below in their town, For he knew every Who down in Whoville beneath, Was busy now hanging a hollywho wreath. "And they're hanging their stockings," he snarled with a sneer. "Tomorrow is Christmas! It's practically here!" Then he growled, with his Grinch fingers nervously drumming, "I must find some way to keep Christmas from coming! For, tomorrow, I know all the Who girls and boys Will wake bright and early. They'll rush for their toys! And then! Oh, the noise! Oh, the noise! Noise! Noise! Noise! There's one thing I hate! All the Noise! Noise! Noise! Noise! Then the Whos, young and old, would sit down to a feast. And they'd feast! And they'd feast! And they'd Feast! Feast! Feast! Feast! They would feast on Who-pudding, and rare Who-roast beast." Which was something the Grinch couldn't stand in the least! "And then, they'd do something I hate most of all. They'll stand close together, with Christmas bells ringing. They'll stand hand-in-hand, and those Whos will start singing! And they'll sing! And they'll sing! And they'll Sing! Sing! Sing! Sing!" And the more the Grinch thought of this Who Christmas thing, The more the Grinch thought, "I must stop this whole thing! Why for fifty-three years I've put up with it now! I must stop Christmas from coming! But how?" Then he got an idea! An awful idea! The Grinch got a wonderful, awful idea! "I know just what to do!" The Grinch laughed in his throat. "I'll make a quick Santy Claus hat and a coat." And he chuckled, and clucked, "What a great Grinchy trick! With this coat and this hat, I look just like Saint Nick! All I need is a reindeer..." The Grinch looked around. But, since reindeer are scarce, there was none to be found. Did that stop the old Grinch? No! The Grinch simply said, "If I can't find a reindeer, I'll make one instead!" So he called his dog, Max. Then he took some red thread, And he tied a big horn on the top of his head. THEN He loaded some bags And some old empty sacks, On a ramshackle sleigh And he hitched up old Max. Then the Grinch said, "Giddap!" And the sleigh started down, Toward the homes where the Whos Lay asnooze in their town. All their windows were dark. Quiet snow filled the air. All the Whos were all dreaming sweet dreams without care. When he came to the first little house on the square. "This is stop number one!" the old Grinchy Claus hissed, As he climbed to the roof, an axe in his fist. Then he slid down the chimney, a rather tight pinch. But if Santa could do it, then so could the Grinch. Then he stuck his head out of the fireplace flue, Where the sleeping Who's sat up shocked all in a row. "These ones," he grinched, "are the first things to go!" Then he swung and he chopped, with a smile most unpleasant, After the manslaughter, he took every single present! He took every single one of them; Pop guns! And bicycles! Roller skates! Drums! Checkerboards! Tricycles! Popcorn! And plums! And he stuffed them in bags. Then the Grinch, very nimbly, Stuffed all the bags, one by one, up the chimney! The Grinch then snuck right inside the Mayor's room, the Mayor woke to see the Grinch with the broom. He swung at the Mayor, and chased him down the hall, the Mayor hid in the closet, but the Grinch kept hitting the door with a ball. "Fahoo Fores Dahoo Dores, Welcome Christmas Come this way, Fahoo Fores Dahoo Dores, Welcome Christmas, Christmas day!" The Mayor hid till the Grinch was gone, he shivered, quaked, and begged for the light of dawn. The Grinch waited silently for the Mayor, then ran up, and chopped him up with his own lawnmower. "Oh dear, I made quite a mess!" The Grinch cackled, and eyed at the presents with evil bliss. "One present for me, Oh! Another one for me, and another one for me! Oh, frabjous day calloo callay!" Then, he slunk to the icebox. He took the Whos' feast! He took the Who-pudding! He took the roast beast! He cleaned out that icebox as quick as a flash. Why, that Grinch even took their last can of Who-hash! Then he stuffed all the food up the chimney with glee. "And now!" grinned the Grinch, "I will stuff up the tree!" And the Grinch grabbed the tree, and he started to shove, When he heard a small sound like the coo of a dove. He turned around fast, and he saw a small Who! Little Cindy-Lou Who, who was not more than two. The Grinch had been caught by this tiny Who daughter, Who'd got out of bed for a cup of cold water. She stared at the Grinch and said, "Santy Claus, why? Why are you taking our Christmas tree? WHY?" But, you know, that old Grinch was so smart and so slick, He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick! "Why, my sweet little tot," the fake Santy Claus lied, "There's a light on this tree that won't light on one side. So I'm taking it home to my workshop, my dear. I'll fix it up there. Then I'll bring it back here." And his fib fooled the child. Then he patted her head, And he got her a drink, and he placed a shopping bag over her head. And when CindyLou Who went down with her cup, he went to the chimney and stuffed the tree up! Then the last thing he took Was the log for their fire! Then he went up the chimney, himself, the old liar. On their walls he left nothing but hooks and some wire. And the one speck of food That he left in the house, Was a crumb that was even too small for a mouse. Then He did the same thing To the other Whos' houses, Leaving bodies and crumbs Much too small For the other Whos' mouses! It was quarter of dawn. All the Whos chopped to bits, Oh the Grinch didn't give two shits, when he packed up his sled, Packed it up with their presents, their ribbons, their wrappings, Their snoof and their fuzzles, their tringlers and trappings! Ten thousand feet up, up the side of Mount Crumpet, He rode with his load to the tiptop to dump it! "Pooh-pooh to the Whos!" he was grinchily humming. "I can imagine the looks on their faces! They're just waking up and see me, axe straight in the air! And I know just what they'd do! Their mouths will hang open a minute or two, Then the Whos down in Whoville all cried boo-hoo-hoo!" "That's a noise," grinned the Grinch, "that I simply wanted to hear!" He dumped all the their presents, their ribbons, their wrappings, Their snoof and their fuzzles, their tringlers and trappings all down Mount Crumpet, so down that no one will ever find it. After that, he cooked the food for the feast! And he, he himself, the Grinch carved dead little CindyLou Who... who's no more than two... as the roast beast! Category:Blood and Gore Category:Insanity Category:Creepypasta Category:Suggested Reading Category:Cannibalism Category:Shock Ending Category:Murder Category:Christmas